At oiur small group the other night, we were talking about anxiety, and the "what if" questions that we ask.  Usually we think in negative terms, imagining the worst that could happen.  Lots of us have a few what if questions that come back to us, recurring fears you might say.  But our leader asked us to think the opposite way, and come up with some "what if" questions that were positive.  Some examples were "What if God really is delighted about who I am?"  What if God is using me exactly howHe wants to?"  What if I can trust God with every detail of my life?"

 

It was an interesting exercise.  What if we could train ourselves to think best case scenarios instead of worst case?  Are we that scared of being disappointed?  Perhaps that is why we won't risk much.  It is easier to be safe.

 

Safety can be appealing, though I think we can miss out on the adventure of life when we cling too much to what is comfortable.  When we step out of that, then we grow.  Sometimes I wish I was a chia pet, then growth would be easy.  But alas, I am not.  I shall have to continue to look for ways that I can be uncomfortable.  Bring on the sackcloth and ashes.

It's pretty easy to get in the way sometimes. 

 

In my opinion, the art of preaching a message in church on a Sunday morning is to allow God to illuminate His word in the hearts of the church.  But it is hard to do.  Especially since we cannot tell if we are simply writing our own thoughts on paper or being led by God.  I remember studying some preaching material in college, and the advice of one guy was to focus on the one point of the selected text, and make that your theme.  If you try to put too much into something, people leave with nothing.  But if you hammer home one point the whole way through, then chances are better that they will leave with that one point.  This make some sense to me, but what if I miss the point?  I guess I really value the time spent sitting with a text and mulling over it and trying to listen to what God is saying through it.  But sometimes my week doesn't allow for this.  And I think the message suffers when that happen. 

 

I suppose we have to trust that God is at work in people's hearts as much as we need to trust that He is at work in our preparation.  I guess when it comes down to it, you can prepare all you want, or be the best speaker in the world, but if God is not in it, then it is only words.  And words have no power to change our hearts apart from the work of the Spirit of God.  Somewhere in there fits our responsibility to train our gifts and learn to use them to their full. 

 

My pride likes to push me into the limelight, to search for the praise of others as my affirmation.  Sometimes I need to stop and rethink my priorities.  Whose opinion really matters?  If I can honestly say that I my goal has been about God and not me, then it doesn't really matter what kind of feedback I get.  But that is hard to remember.

 

It is funny how the day after a sermon is always a hard day.  It is like every doubt that we have ever had comes to the surface to kick at us.  I have heard that when the truth of God is proclaimed, there is always a spiritual lashback.  If that is the cost, then so be it.  I will seek to proclaim truth wherever I can.